Do They Have Jenny Craig for Kitties?

Ambrose says "With my new diet, I am so hungry I could eat the TV remote." Ambrose and I went to the v-e-t last weekend. When the vet called Ambrose a "big boy", Mommy asked her if she thought Ambrose should go on a diet. Not only did the vet say that Ambrose (at 16 lbs) should go on a diet, but she said that I (at 13 lbs.) should go on a diet too. Aaaaaak!!! I am pretty sure the vet's scales must be defective. While we were at the v-e-t, Mommy learned more about my mysterious past. Mommy asked the vet to approximate my age, since we don't know how old I am. Mommy mentioned that she thought I might be an older kitty, because I have so much difficulty jumping onto the bed that she had to buy pet steps to make it easier for me. The vet guessed that I am between 5 and 10 years old, and she discovered the reason that I don't jump very well. She said it appears that one of my back legs had been broken in the past, but was not properly set, so the bone juts out a little on the inside of my leg. Since I have been living with Mommy I have not been injured, so it had to have happened during the time I lived at the auto repair shop before I came to live with Mommy. The vet said she could rebreak the leg and reset it, but she thought it would be best just to leave it as is. It makes Mommy very sad to know that I suffered so much in my previous life. Now that my secret has been revealed, I plan to milk it for all it's worth. I think I can get her to wait on me hand and foot and spoil me even more than she already does. In other news, Clive the stray handsome black mancat that Mommy started feeding on our back deck this winter has been adopted by one of our neighbors. Clive had been living with us since December, but didn't seem to enjoy being around other kitties very much. He was welcome to live with us forever, but Mommy had hoped to find another home for him where he could get the individual attention he needs. Clive's new forever family is very nice. The best part is that they live nearby, so Mommy can visit Clive whenever she wants. We will miss Clive, but I think he will be very happy in his new home where there is a much better bean-to-kitty ratio to ensure that he will get lots of love, scritches, and attention.